


The Usual Haunt (You Can't Hide)

by demon_ducks (uruhead)



Series: Ghoul Grumps AU [1]
Category: Game Grumps, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angel!Brian, F/M, Ghoul Grumps, Ghoul Grumps AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Seraphim!Brian, Vampire!Dan, Vomiting, withdrawl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 18:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7518689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uruhead/pseuds/demon_ducks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan doesn't want to hurt his friends. They're too valuable, they're too nice. He needs to find a substitute for human blood, and fast. However, without the help of his guardian angel, Brian, the past 40 years or so have been relatively hard for the vampire. Thankfully, Brian shows up at his weakest moments to help him through this difficult time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Usual Haunt (You Can't Hide)

**Author's Note:**

> A seraphim is a holy being that's the top of the hierarchy of angels, protecting God's throne. It's a Jewish thing as well as a Christian thing, so I thought that Brian being more than an angel would be fitting. I hope that the vomiting doesn't bother you too bad - it's not described too bad, but it's important that it relays the pain that Dan's going through.

The taste of the blood was _disgusting._ It was like putting the smell of a barn into a drink and then swishing it around in your mouth. Dan tried to swallow, but the blood already in his stomach was sitting wrong; he gagged, and he threw up into the bin.

Suzy patted his back consolingly, fingers running along his spine and cooing softly. “It's alright, let it all out. You okay?”

Dan gave a weak thumbs up after a particularly hard heave. Dan's eyes were sunken back into his head, cheekbones more prominent because he was thinner. His fingers clutched the edge of the trash can and he heaved again. The entire kitchen smelled like metal and bile, but that smell was better than what he was tasting in his mouth.

“It's like eating out a live pig's asshole,” Dan groaned. He rested his head on the rim of the garbage. “This is the worst.”

“Don't give up just yet. You're doing great – it'll be, what? Two months tomorrow?”

After a second, Dan nodded. He turned his head to the side to rest his head on his temple and look at Suzy. “Two months doesn't offset two-hundred years of drinking human blood, though.”

Suzy bopped him gently on the nose with her petite finger, and Dan rolled his eyes. He was still clutching the trash can for dear life as Suzy glanced up at the wall, finding the clock.

“The sun's about to come up soon, anyway. Why don't we call it a night?” Her fingers weaved through his hair and pulled it out of his face.

“I'm... I'm getting real hungry, Suze. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up.” Dan sat up with a whimper, clutching his stomach desperately as it tried to push up the remnants of whatever was in there. “I'm not going to, uh, like Hulk out or something to get food, but I'm just... Ugh. Whatever. This is so fucking stupid.”

“It's not stupid,” Suzy cupped his neck. “It shows an incredible amount of strength to say that you want to stop something that you've been doing for so long.”

Dan whined. She was always so right, and it infuriated him that even if he was near two centuries older than her, she knew more about some things than he did. It was so much easier a few decades ago when everyone was on that stupid “flower child” high, everyone smoking pounds of dope and letting him go to town. He would be full and sated, along with that cotton-headed feeling that seemed to float him through the rest of the '70s.

“Coming off of acid felt better than this shit – and I've had some bad trips on acid.”

“Better than doing something you regret,” Suzy hummed.

“I regret _this,_ ” Dan growled stubbornly. “It feels like... Oh, _God,_ it feels like the _one_ time I got really drunk on moonshine back in the '20s. Back when it was illegal, right? They were smuggling it in through the Canadian border and a few speakeasies were selling it pretty cheap for back then. About as much vomiting, too.”

Suzy smiled. “I bet you were the guy who would tear up the dance floor with finger-waves in his hair, right?”

He laughed weakly. “With these long legs? I was the _king_ of swing, baby! I was one hell of a lady-killer, too. Not literally. More cunnilingus, less actual killing of the ladies.”

“You have so many stories in that head of yours, don't you, old man?”

Suzy's eyes were soft when Dan looked at her, teeming with affection.

No wonder he didn't want to hurt her, or Arin, or Ross, or Barry. They were his friends. They looked at him with such patience and awe, listening to his stories and letting him ramble on about what it was like in the 1800's when he was still a young vampire. Most humans would look at him that way, and be so accepting. His resolve hardened at finding a suitable substitute for human blood, but responded sweetly.

“I'd have more if Brian was around to fill in all of the parts I forget. I can't remember half of the '20s. I was so liquored up they could have put a tap in me.”

“The angel, right?”

“Mm-hmm. I wish he were here. But... at the same time, I know he's off doing something important or whatever. He's always got his eye on me. If left to my own devices, I'd get into too much trouble.” Dan winked at her, lips slanted into a sly smile. Suzy giggled, sending them into a fit of laughs on the kitchen floor.

 

–

 

Arin walked into the living room, finding Dan resting his head against Suzy's. She was sleeping on his shoulder, arm wrapped around his body which was cocooned in many different blankets. He looked at the clock, seeing that it was just past about 7 in the morning. They were tucked in a shady corner of the house, so Arin wasn't worried about Dan getting burnt.

“Good morning,” Dan whispered. Looking over, Dan smiled sweetly and nuzzled against Suzy's head, making his stubble rasp against her hair. “How'd you sleep?”

“Alright,” Arin croaked.

“That's good. She fell asleep on me, so I didn't want to wake her up. She's been up all night with me.”

It was Arin's turn to smile at that. He got close, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and knees to pull her up against his chest. She whined softly, but leaned into his warmth. “Let me put her to bed, then I'll make some breakfast for the both of us.”

Dan nodded, curling up a little tighter in his blankets.

Arin mozied to the bedroom to place her down on the bed with a huff. She was out cold, naturally, but it was good that she was finally getting some sleep. She had been staying awake trying to find a substitute for Dan for the past few weeks, looking online for the most obscure blood with similar qualities. All of that complicated stuff. He pulled the blankets on top of her, pressing a pillow against her chest and kissing her forehead.

Dan poked his head inside the room, smirking. “Come on, lover-boy. I'm dying for some eggs.”

 

–

 

Brian _appeared._

Dan blinked his eyes a few times, trying to shake the nausea caused by Brian's all-knowing, pure light that he had when he wasn't in his visible form, looking up at the angel. Seraphim. Whatever. It was good to see him.

Brian's six wings were cramped against the ceiling and walls, floating a few inches off of the ground even if that mean his head was bumping against the ceiling. His eyes, all three of them, were trained very specifically on Dan. He had no mouth, a near perfect circle of a head, and was glowing slightly. He started to shift, sending another wave of nausea through Dan as he watched Brian's mouth form, ripping skin and teeth growing, tongue wagging. The third eye winked closed on his forehead, his wings fading and landing barefoot on the cool tile.

Then, Brian – the Brian Dan knew and loved – stood before him with graying hair, aging eyes, in a pair of jeans and a black tee. The smallest, faintest halo circled over the crown of his head.

Dan took a breath in. “You could've waited until I was done shitting before showing up, you know.”

He closed the book he was perusing, pushing his glasses up his nose. He was leaning on his knees with his elbows, sitting on the toilet.

Brian tilted his head and smirked that infuriating smirk. “Nice to see you, too. What year is it?”

“Brian,” Dan breathed exasperatedly, “can I shit first?”

Brian waited.

“... Alone?” Dan reiterated.

“You're never alone,” quipped Brian.

“Without you fucking looking — _Brian_ , God damnit, get the fuck out of my bathroom!”

 

–

 

“So you're the infamous angel that Dan can't stop talking about,” Suzy beamed. Brian snorted and let his feathers rustle gently against the wall he was leaning against.

“He talks about me?”

“Constantly,” Arin chuckled. “He's always talking so highly of you. Talking about how you guys are best friends, how much he misses you, how much he wishes you were here... He's a total dork about calling you his guardian angel, keeps being a total dork about it all. It's kinda cute.”

Dan opened the bathroom door, wiping his hands off on his jeans. Seeing Brian standing there with Suzy and Arin, he froze. “O-oh. Uh.”

“Speak of the devil,” said Brian.

“H-Hi, guys,” Dan chirped nervously.

“ _Speaks highly_ , huh? Last time I spoke with you, you told me to go ' _suck on my boss' Godly chode_.'” Brian glanced to Suzy and Arin. “Exact phrasing.”

Dan's shoulders were hitched up to his ears. “Dude! There was a lot going on.”

“Yes, I remember. An '80s hair-metal concert in the middle of August, where you had gotten your hands on a particularly good batch of mushrooms. Was it a woman or _man_ that you decided to give oral—!”

Dan leaped over, covering Brian's mouth with a snarl. Suzy had never seen Dan so wound up before, but she started to laugh as he begged. He was smiling, though, which was a good sign. “ _Dude!_ Forgive and forget!”

Brian looked directly at Suzy, boring into her eyes very seriously and only caused her to laugh harder. “It is literally impossible for me to forget things,” he said, muffled under Dan's hand. “I will forever retain the memory of Dan streaking completely naked across stage at a Stooges concert.”

“ _BRIAN!”_

 

–

 

Arin set down a cup of tea for Brian, watching as the golden feathers of his wings fluttered slightly as he walked past. He had been drawing a lot of Brian recently, mainly for sketches and motion practice. It was fun to watch Brian from a distance, as if Brian didn't know he was watching – he did, however, know that Arin was watching.

Sitting down across the table, Arin sipped at his own coffee. “So.”

“So,” echoed Brian.

“An angel?”

“A seraphim, actually.”

Arin tapped his fingers on the table a few times. “Isn't that, like...”

“A very important angel, basically. I decided to take up the mantle of Danny's Guardian. I'm... always on the pursuit of knowledge, and Dan is a fountain of experience that I'm not willing to miss out on.”

The word _Guardian_ reverberated through the room, as if the word itself had a gravitas to it that every atom in the world shook at it. Arin shivered.

“You, too, have a guardian angel. Not as cool as I am, literally stepping down from one of the highest appointments in heaven in order to follow around a ditzy kid for two-hundred-some years, but a guardian nonetheless.”

Arin licked his lips before nodding. “I'll give you that.”

 

–

 

It had been months since Dan had eaten last. He was able to palette certain types of blood for enough nutrition, but he would throw up after a few hours. He became thinner with each week, more tired, more hungry. He was irritable and introverted. Everyone was becoming worried.

Dan curled up on the couch in the Grump Space, sipping a heated up mug of... something red. No one asked.

“You sure he's okay?” Ross whispered to Arin, side-eyeing where Dan sat. “He hasn't been his normal, goofy self recently. Are any of the substitutes working for him?”

Arin frowned. “If Dan isn't sharing that with you, then it's not my place to tell you. I'm sure he has it under control, Ross. If something comes up that really affects the workplace or anything like that, then I'll be sure to intervene and tell you about it. You should ask Dan if it's bothering you that much.”

Ross' brows furrowed in frustration, huffing slightly. “It's not like I'm an expert in that shit, man. Just keep me updated about what you feel's right, okay? I”m worried about him.”

“You don't have to be,” said Brian. Both Arin and Ross jumped, eyes wide as they saw the seraphim suddenly behind them. “Dan _has_ been losing weight recently, but he'll find a way eventually.”

Ross' shoulders slumped, mouth open in awe, paling considerably. His eyes searched over Brian's face, along the slope of his shoulders, and to the halo on top of his head. “You're...”

Brian glanced to Ross, a moment of understanding between them. Their eyes met, and Ross shook his head, barely noticeable.

“Danny will be fine,” Brian said, looking over to Arin. “You'll see.”

“I can hear you, you know!” Dan called from the couch. He slurped loudly. “Kinda a perk of being superhuman. Not to mention Brian isn't exactly what you would call, uh, _quiet._ ”

Ross seemed to relax slightly at the distraction, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing at the floor.

 

–

 

Brian pulled Danny's hair back into a loose bun, pulling most of it out of his face as he hunched over the toilet bowl. “It's been years since I had to do this for you last. Your hair was shorter. I like this handle you've given me, though. Makes it much easier to control where the flow of your puke is going to end up.”

Dan laughed dryly, tears dripping down his cheeks and nose overflowing with blood-tainted snot. He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand before wiping away what he could with his palm.

“Bri...” croaked Dan. “I... I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.”

The implication stirred something deep in Brian's chest, hurting.

“I-I can't eat. I can't drink. I can't even keep regular food down. I've been living off of the same dog's blood for a week now, just trying to keep it down after I puke it back up. I've been chewing on ice so everyone thinks I've been eating...”

Dan hiccuped and slouched further over the toilet. “What can I do, Bri? Why can't you just tell me what to do?”

Pulling back a few extra strands of hair that were stuck to Danny's forehead, Brian murmured. “I can't give you a direct answer, Dan.”

Dan's shoulders hitched up as a sob wracked through him. He nodded, as if justifying it for himself, accepting a fate that was morbid and awful, before sitting up and reaching raggedly for the next tupperware. The blood was thick and dark, full of bits and gristle. The blood he hadn't tried was becoming so much harder to find, and Dan couldn't make Suzy try to look for the expensive shit on the internet anymore.

Hands shaking, Dan brought the tupperware to his chest. He was so weak. His arms were thin, ribs basically creaking with every breath. Brian reached down, tilting the plastic until the blood hit Dan's lips, only for Dan to immediately spit it back, blood burbling out of his mouth and down his chest, along his cheeks.

“I can't do this... I can't make my friends worry... I can't even _wake up_ by myself, anymore. Barry comes and touches me, and has to shake me to get up... I... I don't want to be a _burden_ anymore...”

Dan's cries were hollow and from his chest, dropping the container on the ground and spilling it everywhere. He clutched his cheeks and curled over, touching his forehead to the floor of the bathroom.

“Brian...” Dan whimpered, “Please... help me...”

Brian appeared before Arin, floating with six wings extended, three eyes open and glowing a deep golden color. Arin scooted up to sitting straight on his bed, eyes wide and staring at the seraphim. They were quiet for a second, though everything was quiet. It seemed like the world had stopped breathing, the wind stopping, the room chillier than it had been a moment ago.

Suzy was asleep next to him. Both of them were glad she didn't wake up.

Brian's eyes glanced to the window before slowly resting on the floor. His wings settled behind him, body forming into the same old man that Arin was used to seeing. He looked sadder than usual.

“Help him,” Brian whispered.

Arin gaped. “Dan?”  
“He hasn't had something that will sustain him for months. I will kill for him, I have killed for him, and I will do it again, but I can feel that he would... he wouldn't...”

Brian lifted his palms and looked at them with serious contemplation. “I can't solve this for him, not like I have in the past. This is different. This is something only he can decide, where I can have little to no say in the matter. It's Fate's way. Fate's path.”

Arin had so many questions, sitting at the edge of the bed with his mouth open and eyes slightly watering. He licked his lips and tilted his head before he stood up, shuffling towards Brian. “Well. Uh. Can he... he needs human blood, right?”

Brian nodded.

“Then, if you make sure he doesn't like, kill me or anything, can he eat... er... drink... from me?” Arin thumbed at the hem of his shirt. “Is that a thing? Do you think he'll be okay with that?”

“No,” Brian hummed. “He'll hate every second of it, in fact. He'll blame himself for any injury that comes to you or his friends here. He's so _stubborn_. I just wish he would...” Brian's fingers curled into fists, grinding his teeth together for a second. “He'll have to deal with it.”

“Alright, then,” Arin breathed, “take me to him.”

Extending his hand, Brian raised a brow. “You're sure?”

“Sure as I'll ever be, offering my body to my best friend to save his fucking life,” Arin laughed humorlessly. He slapped his hand down into Brian's, suddenly appearing in side of what looked like a horror movie.

He hadn't seen Dan in a solid week. He was curled on the floor, clutching his stomach and lying in a pool of blood. There were half-drank containers of blood everywhere, staining the pale bathroom. The smell was incredibly strong, but Arin swallowed down the need to vomit himself. He'd dealt with enough Dan Vomit in his days, he could handle this.

Blood squished between his toes and shivers went up his spine as Dan looked at him and tightened his jaw.

“No,” Dan hissed. “No, not him. Not anyone.”

Brian bristled at the sound. “You have to.”

“I _won't_ , not even if my life depends on it.”

“ _It does,_ you idiot.”

Arin curled his hands into fists, and he could feel the blood pumping along his wrists and arms. Dan curled tighter, raising a hand to cover his head, over his ear.

“Stop it, stop it, _stop, stop—_ I can hear you from _here_ , I don't...” Dan's voice cracked and he turned his head to press his nose to the blood on the floor. “I can make this work, I can do it, just make him leave...”

Brian's hand gripped onto the back of Dan's head like a vice, working Dan like a puppet as he pulled him to sit up. Brian's entire body was contorting with anger, back slumping and face starting to shift into something that made Arin feel uncomfortable at a molecular level.

_“What fresh Hell do I need to throw you into to make you realize what you already know?”_

Brian's voice was that same, earth-shaking thing that seemed to rattle the very foundation of the house. The lights flickered as Brian's body grew larger, seeming to bubble like plastic in a microwave, black and gooey. Arin swallowed hard.

“Stop,” he whispered.

Dan slumped to the floor as Brian stood in the corner, black tee-shirt and jeans and barefoot. His eyes were tired, looking away from them.

“Don't end this adventure so soon, Danny. Please.”

Arin took a knee next to Dan, resting his hand on his bony shoulder.

“Dan, I want to help you. Please, I... I know it's hard, but this isn't working. I said I would be for you always. Brian will watch when it's happening and make sure that... everything's alright.”

“So I won't _kill you,_ ” Dan growled. “Fucking say it to me straight, man. Don't sugarcoat it.”

Arin sighed, pressing his hand to Dan's forehead and wiping away the sweat that collected at his temples. “Danny,” Arin murmured. “Do you trust me?”

Looking up at Arin, Dan pressed his lips into a fine line. He looked tired, and dead. But he nodded.

“Then do you trust me to let me help you this way?”

Again, Dan nodded.

“Good. Now, don't fucking take a chunk out of my arm or something. Brian, cover us?” Arin looked at Brian, seeing him smile softly and nod. Dan sighed and giggled, shaking his head.

“Leave it to you to make a joke out of me literally dying in your arms.” He reached and wrapped his fingers around Arin's offered arm, eyes soft and glassy with tears. “Thanks, dude.”

“Don't thank me yet, bro. Also, no homo.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “All the homo, dude.”

 

–

 

“Apple juice... has _never_ tasted so good,” Arin slurred. He slurped noisily on the tiny straw in the juice box, hair pulled out of his face with one of Suzy's hairbands. She sat next to him, smiling wide and proud. Brian stood near the door while Dan sat in a chair next to the bed, leaning over and rubbing his palm over the bandage on Arin's arm.

“Good. Good, dude. Just drink it up, and then fall asleep, okay? You'll feel better in no time.”

“Mm-hmm,” Arin nodded with his entire head once before knocking the back of it on the headboard. “Yes, Danny-boy. We will find a schedule... a routine. Make you better bit-by-bit.”

“Whatever makes you happy, kid,” Brian murmured.

A moment passed, juice box resting against Arin's chest and mouth slack. Brian laughed. “Out like a light.”

“I'll start making dinner for when he wakes up,” Suzy laughed breathlessly. She looked tired, but happy. She kept glancing between Dan and Arin, seemingly smiling from her _soul_ she was so happy. Suzy got up off of the bed, heading past Brian to the kitchen.

Dan sat back in the chair, wrapped up in his own blanket. He curled it tighter around himself, watching Arin kindly. “Was that the only way?”

Brian stayed quiet, giving Dan confirmation that he needed.

“You could've picked anyone else in the entire universe, and you pick some fuck-up vampire kid. You... you had a choice, man. You saw this coming, you've seen it. I know you have.” He scoffed and rubbed his face with his palm.

Brian waited for a few moments before sitting on the bed and reaching for the juice box in Arin's hand. He pulled it from his fingers and set it aside with a hum. “There are _bad_ parts in love, Danny. You, out of all people, know that. It's not this static thing that you can grab and go. It's an experience – and that's why I left my station. I saw this... ever-expanding world with you, where your soul would lead me through infinities that I would have never imagined. I've seen every life path you could ever, would ever go through, and they all _suck_ at the end. All of this will lead up to _pain_ and _hatred._ ”

Dan pressed his knuckles into his eyes and groaned. “Why, then? That shit... it _sucks._ I suck. I fucking hurt my friends, and I'll hurt you, too. You've seen it.”

“And yet I still love you,” Brian hummed. He pressed his hand to Arin's cheek, thumbing under his eyes where sweat was starting to collect. “And yet I still care for you deeply, and hold back your hair, and make your nausea go away when I can. I have held your hand through thick and thin, and I'm not going to let go, no matter how much it hurts. Love _sucks_. And I want to experience it with the best of them.”

Dan grimaced and tucked his chin to his chest. He pulled the blanket over his head and sighed.

The air was still for a few moments before Brian laughed. “Do you remember that woman you used to see in '64? The one with red hair?”

“Denise. Yeah, it was Denise.”

“I remember... She thought you were so stupid for drinking all of those slurpees. She knew you were going to puke, but she still let you get on that roller coaster with her, and she let you vomit all over her nice skirt. Do you remember what she said?”

Peeking through the folds of the blanket, Dan looked at Arin and Brian on the bed, watching them breathe slowly. It was like watching through a dusty window at a meadow, the breeze slowly moving daisies and buttercups so that they shimmered in the sunlight. Peaceful, warm. “She said... aw, shit. She said something like _at least when you puke, it'll be a pretty color_.”

“That's what love is like. You grab someone's stupid hand and follow them through their stupid life, but you're watching them smile, and have fun, and be free on a rickety old roller coaster with barely any breaks. You hold on for dear life, and when they realize that their decisions were bad, you're there to catch their disgusting vomit.”

“At least it'll be a pretty color,” Dan breathed.

“Yeah. A pretty color.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please, leave your comments/questions below, and don't be afraid to shoot me an ask over at my tumblr, [uruhead](uruhead.tumblr.com/).


End file.
